Humor: Remember when...?
  It's been well over a year since Anarchy Online launched, and although we kinda like the state of the the game now, the very launch back then wasn't exactly something to write home about. Problems got fixed, for only to introduce new problems time and time again...      
 

For those of us who lived through all these bugs, it was a nightmare and caused constant furious outbreaks on the messageboards. None of us wan't to go back there, but now that that the most serious ones are a thing of the past, you have to admit that some of it were rather funny, bordering on the brink of absurdity.

So this is for a look back on the things that were painful then, but might strike old and new players as amusing now - sorta like a year of army-duty, utter hell when you were actually there, but quite fun when you got it on a distance and were sharing stories with your friends. So thus, it's time for Remember when?

Remember when...

- You got dropped out of your Yalmaha no matter what altitude you were at when zoning? Remember when you flew over a large body of water and got dropped into the ocean with miles to the closest shore? And grey puny sharks attacking you, with no chance of fighting back or getting back in your Yalmaha? It could take 10 minutes of swimming since you had absolutely no swimming skills, and while under attack you usually died before getting back to shore, it just took one helluva time for the sharsk to finish "eating" you.

- Agents got so small from a bug in the Ruse line of programs they constantly fell through gratings and small potholes and got stuck everywhere?

- When every time you exited a vehicle, while wearing a cloak, it looked like you had stuck the cloak lining into your boots and looked rather like you still didn't know how to dress? (like tucking the pants into say cowboy boots?)

- When no one anticipated how high you could jump with high Strength and Runspeed, and people jumping around indoors constantly got stuck in the ceiling?

- When Agent's aimedshots took your head clean off in one shot before the graphics in 2H0 even started loading coming out of the wompa?

- When you went Link Dead in a mission as a pet user and when you came back your pet had killed you for leaving it behind?

- When Omni-Forrest housed the entire population of Rubi-Ka on the day the first static mission was released, with everyone chasing around trying to get a teddybear of of a scary pumkinhead ghost at 1/3 frame pr minute?

- You had one more kill to reach the next level and you ran into a room with two NT mobs who instantly cast Izgimmers Last Word ten times in a row, just to make sure you were really dead?

- You were hunting in Lush Fields and got the message "Attacked by Solomonne" only to experience him chasing you halfways across the zone, hitting you for half your HP?

- Bureaucrat mobs cast their slow programs and there was nothing you could do to break them? Running through the mission for 20 minutes in extreme-slow motion like a bad action movie?

- You would zone out of the grid, and no one would see you until they looked at the ground because you were still in your gridcube form?

- Backpacks revolted against the laws of gravity and became ten times as heavy as an elephant and you had to run from a mob and couldnt because your runspeed was -2300 ?

- You couldnt keep fighting because the mobs kept telling you to "Take It Easy" //Ashuras

- NPC mobs were ultimate killing machines, not only shooting you normally but also managing to throw in a punch or a kick between shots, often for more than their regular weapon damage. That they also could punch you in the nose from the far side of a room also added to the charm. //Anonymous

- When the pistol Freedom Arms 3927 - the backbone of the Rubi-Ka echonomy back then - suddenly was exchanged for a blue icon with a questionmark on over night, never to be seen in the same fashion again. //Anonymous

- The grid constructors by mistake put the grid entrance in Newland and Rome 5000 feet in the air and you suddenly found yourself falling to your death at the screams of "Geronimoooooo" //Doublebarrel

- When you were polymorphed into a reet and zoned, your head would warp back into its human form, leaving half of Rubi-Ka's adventurers wishing they never had uploaded that program to begin with //Marise

- You could charm and re-name mobs, leading to NPC's being named after various bodyparts or celebrities //Marise

- You had to stand in line at the NPC vendors because they couldnt handle more than one customer at a time leaving people who wanted nothing else but shop for ammunition to stand in line for hours sometimes when the person in front suddenly had a phonecall and didnt want to leave the line. //McFarlane

- Tir lake used to be poisonous? New arrivals screaming in terror as the burning acid ate through their skin like a hungry rabbit on a carrot - quite the welcome to Rubi-Ka! // Oggyman

- Everyone was hunting at the Beach and you could find 50 people standing around in the water scared half to death, because the venterated V-bull had chosen to pay a visit, and the only way to escape it was to jump into the water where it wouldn't follow you. //Jayhawk

- Red in Aegean was a woman who wore a bikini? Oh the wonderful technologies of sexchanges.. //Rudeboy

- Red the talkative and kind activist standing around not far from Dodga in The Rising Sun, wasn't all that kind, but rather wanted that mountaintop for herself, and therefore without mercy killed every person who dared set foot on her property. //Jayhawk

- Normal laws of physics were warped and a snare nano terminating resulted in you getting +1500 run speed until you zoned //Kissfix

Have a "Remember when" for us that you think is funny? Don't hesistate to drop us a line at contributions@anarchyarcanum.com - Keep in mind that these are supposed to be fun or amusing, not mean-spirited or ironic attempts at attacking Funcom.


Last updated 25. October 2002