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They can be found almost everywhere - the inhabitants
of this conflict-wrought world - and most of them have a little story to tell.
Little stories about their perspective on life here and their role in it, or just
advice and experiences handed down to the flow of newcomers. |
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Marvin
1250 x 2350, Southern Artery Valley
If you have ever visited the place, you might find Marvin standing in the middle
of the Omni-Tek Outpost 10-3 in Southern Artery Valley.
Marvin is depressed, very depressed. Then again, we think you would be too, if
you were dragged through a hole in space-time continuum and ended up on a desolate
planet with nothing to keep you company other than the occasional visit from the
local Biledrinkers poking at you.
We had to get several strong drinks after talking to Marvin since he made us all
very, very depressed.
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Hi. Have you come to do some cruel thing to me, too? I have this aching pain in
all the diodes down my left side, you know. I've asked for them to be replaced,
of course, but they never listen.
We asked Marvin what he was doing there and how he ended up there, seeing as he
clearly wasn't one of the engineer-built robots, but rather a sentient being.
A very depressed one at that, so naturally we were curious as to why he ended
up here.
The last 576,000,003,579 years I have been walking around in circles here. I started
off going to the left. Every hundred million years, I would change direction.
It was terribly depressing. Then you came along. After that it has sort of gone
into a bit of a decline.
I fell through a hole in the spacetime continuum and ended up here. It's a very
nice place, if you happen to think a dead desert planet full of nano-monsters
and blood-lusting maniacs is a nice place, which personally I don't. This is the
planet Rubi-Ka. I've been here the last 576,000,003,0576 years, and naturally,
I know all about it. But I don't want to tell you about it. It's too depressing.
We never should have asked the next question. Really. But we didnt know any better,
and asked anyway - since we were wondering. The question being..."Are you
depressed?"
I'm depressed. I'm very depressed. If you think you've ever been depressed, you
haven't. If you think: "But I wasn't just depressed! Not your normal kind
depressed. I was way down there without a paddle and no way out! I was really
really depressed!" you still haven't.
You know what's depressing? You know that trick you do when you're depressed?
You think that "there's probably someone out there more depressed than me."
And that cheers you up a bit. Well, guess what? It's me. I'm the most depressed
person in the Universe. I'm not even a real person. GOD! I'm so depressed...
We tried to cheer him up a bit and told him about all the great places on
Rubi-Ka there are to visit, and we asked him what he was doing at the moment.
Just thinking. Of course, in my case, that means that I re-construct the entire
nature of mathematics 45,000 times every minute. But don't let my totally superior
intellect bring you down. It's not your fault that you are depressingly stupid.
We didn't really like being called stupid since we take pride in our great inteligle..
intliceln.. intellilen.. smartness, so we asked him something that we knew would
stump him. We asked what the meaning of life was.
42
And that was it. 42. How very depressing. He also mentioned he wrote poems, and
although we hesitated to ask, we had to, for the sake of doing it.
I can read you a poem if you want. I wrote it myself. It's very depressing...
Now the world has gone to bed.
Darkness won't engulf my head.
I can see by infrared.
How I hate the night.
Now I lay me down to sleep.
Try to count electric sheep.
Sweet dream wishes you can keep.
How I hate the night.
We had to leave Marvin then and go stick our heads in a bucket of cold water just
to see what it was like. It was more fun than talking to Marvin, that's for sure.
Now we are depressed as well. The meaning of life, 42 ...
These are the keywords Marvin will respond to.
Planet, Poem, why are you here, what is the meaning of life, depressed, life,
universe |
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